January 2, 2012
2012 Update
I don’t even recognize “Add New Post” format anymore, that’s how long it’s been since I’ve posted. Almost a year. I had intended to write in a journal instead of bothering the (very few) people who read this blog with more posts but, alas, I sit in front of the computer often and lose things easily, so the blog will most likely continue to act as the record of my childhood as originally intended (as neglected as it is).
I feel as though I’ve become a completely different person as the girl who started this blog… of course that’s not entirely true, but I’ve certainly gone through numerous changes to my situation and therefore my character. I’m worrying about college, slacking in school (well, is that -really- that new?), and I’ve been writing a lot less…I’ve neglected my writing blog even more than this one. I haven’t watched television in months. I’ve had a complete falling out with the animal rights movement, and have instead taken up a passion for gay rights. I’ve developed my opinions on religion and my theories about the after life. I feel a lot less lost than before. I’ve lost family members, but I’ve fallen in love. I’m growing apart from the friends that I never thought I’d lose.
I’m not going to lie to you anymore, blog, and tell you something like “It’s a new year, a fresh beginning, and I’m going to start writing more often.” I’m not going to write more often. I don’t want to write more often. I have better things to do, and honestly nothing to say that I really care to document here. So maybe this is the end, although I have to admit that I doubt it because this project is something that I’ve put a lot of myself into.
So I’m going to discuss my new years resolutions. Ironically enough, one of them is to write more. But not here. Lately I feel like I’ve been losing a lot of my… well, honestly, I feel like I used to be smarter. I used to be better. I’m more focused on other things now. Honestly, I’m… maybe I’m being stupid. But I think I’m just being in love. And with that motivation, I really should be able to write more. Poetry, I hope. Maybe I’ll post it to my other blog. (Probably not). I want to be able to take my feelings and craft them into words that… convey the amount of emotion that I feel. But I think that’s a skill I’ll have to work on more.
My… I suppose my main resolution is to appreciate the little things. I really do believe that I’m lucky, but… well, can I blame the angst on being a teenager? I’m supposed to be angsty. I’ve been known to throw excessive pity parties for myself. But I really think I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have found someone that loves me for who I am, who does everything to make me feel secure. I really am lucky to have what I do. I hope that I can remember that when things don’t seem as bright.
And my third resolution is to worry less… namely about self esteem issues. This was suggested by my girlfriend and, well… we’ll see how it goes. XD
And now it gets random because it’s past 1AM on a school night and I just want to get it out. Something I want to do is make a ton of food. Like. A thanksgiving feast type of thing. And package it up in tupperware and go to a big city and find homeless people and give it to them. I’d also really like to go to the beach this summer.
If someone I cared about had a blog, or something in which they often put their thoughts and beliefs, and then they allowed me to read it. I would read it all. In one sitting. Without hesitation. What does that say about me? I think that perhaps I’m… well, I’m much too prying. But maybe it also says that I’m curious and that I care to know? I think once, maybe a few times, I’ve suggested that I think really studying this blog could tell someone a lot about me, and maybe I’d give it to someone as a.. guide? Maybe I’ve never written it, but I’ve thought it. And I’m certainly not complaining, but I’ve handed it out twice (look at me wearing my heart on my sleeve) and… well, perhaps I’m just too wishful a thinker. I’m just sayin’ though. If it were me, I would read it.
Thanks again for listening,
Megan
/How would I use an existing post as a template? That is much too fancy. No.
