I feel as though I’ve become a completely different person as the girl who started this blog… of course that’s not entirely true, but I’ve certainly gone through numerous changes to my situation and therefore my character. I’m worrying about college, slacking in school (well, is that -really- that new?), and I’ve been writing a lot less…I’ve neglected my writing blog even more than this one.  I haven’t watched television in months. I’ve had a complete falling out with the animal rights movement, and have instead taken up a passion for gay rights. I’ve developed my opinions on religion and my theories about the after life. I feel a lot less lost than before. I’ve lost family members, but I’ve fallen in love. I’m growing apart from the friends that I never thought I’d lose.

I’m not going to lie to you anymore, blog, and tell you something like “It’s a new year, a fresh beginning, and I’m going to start writing more often.” I’m not going to write more often. I don’t want to write more often. I have better things to do, and honestly nothing to say that I really care to document here. So maybe this is the end, although I have to admit that I doubt it because this project is something that I’ve put a lot of myself into.

So I’m going to discuss my new years resolutions. Ironically enough, one of them is to write more. But not here. Lately I feel like I’ve been losing a lot of my… well, honestly, I feel like I used to be smarter. I used to be better. I’m more focused on other things now. Honestly, I’m… maybe I’m being stupid. But I think I’m just being in love. And with that motivation, I really should be able to write more. Poetry, I hope. Maybe I’ll post it to my other blog. (Probably not). I want to be able to take my feelings and craft them into words that… convey the amount of emotion that I feel. But I think that’s a skill I’ll have to work on more.

My… I suppose my main resolution is to appreciate the little things. I really do believe that I’m lucky, but… well, can I blame the angst on being a teenager? I’m supposed to be angsty. I’ve been known to throw excessive pity parties for myself. But I really think I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have found someone that loves me for who I am, who does everything to make me feel secure. I really am lucky to have what I do. I hope that I can remember that when things don’t seem as bright.

And my third resolution is to worry less… namely about self esteem issues. This was suggested by my girlfriend and, well… we’ll see how it goes. XD

And now it gets random because it’s past 1AM on a school night and I just want to get it out. Something I want to do is make a ton of food. Like. A thanksgiving feast type of thing. And package it up in tupperware and go to a big city and find homeless people and give it to them. I’d also really like to go to the beach this summer.

If someone I cared about had a blog, or something in which they often put their thoughts and beliefs, and then they allowed me to read it. I would read it all. In one sitting. Without hesitation. What does that say about me? I think that perhaps I’m… well, I’m much too prying. But maybe it also says that I’m curious and that I care to know? I think once, maybe a few times, I’ve suggested that I think really studying this blog could tell someone a lot about me, and maybe I’d give it to someone as a.. guide? Maybe I’ve never written it, but I’ve thought it. And I’m certainly not complaining, but I’ve handed it out twice (look at me wearing my heart on my sleeve) and… well, perhaps I’m just too wishful a thinker. I’m just sayin’ though. If it were me, I would read it.

Thanks again for listening,

Megan

/How would I use an existing post as a template? That is much too fancy. No.

As I was saying. Dear diary,

I have been ignoring you once again. If we were dating, I fear that you would have already kicked me out of the apartment. You may have even thrown the television out of the 2nd story window, assuming that we live on the 2nd story and that the television is mine. And taking into account the fact that I hate television, it probably isn’t. So hah, I’ve spoiled your plans. Even more of a reason for you to break it off.

I like metaphors…. as I was saying, I’m not going to be saying that I neglect you anymore. Because it’s hardly neglect when you’ve gotten used to it, right? I don’t really want to check when my last post is cause it won’t tell me on the current browser and… lazy… but let’s just assume it was about a month ago. So maybe monthly posts are how it’s going to work around here anymore… honestly, posts come whenever I have something to say or simply feel the need to update.

Actually, I think I’m going to -try- to start writing in a journal, because as I said, this really is for me… And as long as I’m not too lazy to do it, I feel like it could work. So if I randomly go MIA, you know why. But anyways, I feel like rambling.

Because it’s 1am here and I refuse to go to sleep.

>

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Megan: THANK GOD

 Marta: haha. :] telepathic. knew you needed me. you ok? PP

Megan:  XD NO, I AM NOT OKAY, MY SHEETS ARE BLACK what if they’re here? how long have they been here? how did it get in? do they travel in packs?i can feel them on me. I CAN FEEL THEM

Marta: LOL. sorry come live with meee

Megan: YOU HAVE SPIDERS. those are worse. at first i could even tell what it was. i was like.. is it a flying ant? i didn’t want to accept the truth. but i looked at it after i got it in the bottle and it definitely has some evil looking pinchers. i was ruthless too. i was like. HAH

Marta: lol.

Megan: I BET THAT STINGS DOESNT IT? TRYING TO BREATHE COKE? YEAH. AND YOU CANT SWIM CAN YOU? HA. HAHAHA.TELL YOUR FRIIEENDDDSSS. now my bed is away from the wall. and all the lights are on because they’re nocturnal. and maybe i can trick them into thinking it’s daytime

Marta:  WHOA. MEGAN. NOOOO

 Megan: xD yes. marta. i did it. and i’m not ashamed

 Marta: you drowned it in coke?

 Megan: NOT ASHAMED AT ALL

Marta: ><”"”

 Megan: i am

 Marta: YOU HARTLESS MONSTER

Megan: laughing right now

Marta: ><” megan. we need to hang out .-.

 Megan: and rocking back and forth so it might be hysteria

 Marta: haha.thats what this conversation has proven to meeee. LOL. now i amW. rokcing back and forth aughing. laughing* because. you’re so strange. and hilarious. that’s why we need to hang.

Megan: hey is it raining outside?or is that the sound of a thousand pincher hug corpses hitting my window? OMG IT IS RAINING. i wanna go outside…really bad. but i’d have to put on pants. oh man…i seriously have adrenaline goose bumps from battling the bug that have yet to go away… omg how long has it been living here…so many nights…so many questions..and now i cannot ask, because it is dead

 Marta: LOL.are you high?

Megan:hahaha no XD i’m always like this marta but thanks for asking. OKAY I THINK IM GOING TO GO OUTSIDE. BUT ITS DARK. SO ILL COME BACK REALLY QUICK AFTER I PEE MY PANTS FROM FEAR OKAY?

Marta: ok. haha 

Megan: i’ll be back promptly. DONT LEAVE. brb. OMG. BLACK FUZZ ON JACKET. PANTS ALREADY PEE’D. BRB

Marta: lol.

Megan: actually not scary t all cause it’s really bright.. but it is really cold

Marta:  what are you smooooking? its dark!

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And that’s all folks.

P.S. The copy/pasting messed up the formating… so you’ll have to live with random >’s or otherwise everything would be all smooshed.

My christmas music suggestion: Yule Shoot Your Eye Out – FOB

And keeping on that cheery note, here’s an image:

(I just needed a URL address. ;D So this is how I get it… yeah.)

Anyways, MERRY CHRISTMAS. Fo’rlz.

Megan

No, talking in third person doesn’t make you insane. But no one really believes in my mentally stability anyway.

So here we go, here’s my comprehensive bucket list, that will continue to be added to as I come up with more stuff:

1. Somehow come to own three dairy cows

2. Write a book that will save someone’s life

3. Be a good friend

4. Fall in love

5. Achieve peace/ be happy

6. Go skydiving

7. Ensure that my friend’s bucket list is completed, even in death. (anything that cannot be considered finished on hers will fall onto mine.)

8. Learn to ski

9. Drive through Texas in a rainbow-colored van and not die.

10. Learn to play the piano

11. Be kissed in the rain (I am just full of clichés)

12. Figure myself out (This should be higher on the list)

13. Change someone’s life

14. Find God or somehow come to peace with death/the after-life

15. Never ever ever have a big expensive house. Ever. Period.

16.

Do you think that bucket lists should include things that you want but have no way of possibly achieving?

Does it helps to have a friend who will adopt your unfinished bucket list business?

Because it’s a terrible feeling to know that you’re going to lose someone close to you. And it’s an even worse feeling when you know that they probably won’t be able to accomplish everything that they want to accomplish, and there’s nothing you can do to help it.

Meh… anyway… ~keeps blog alive, thanks you for reading~

Megan

I’m a Narutard!!!

WAH-HEEE.

(Strange sound effects.) Anyway, yeah, I have a new-found love of Naruto and everything Naruto-related. It’s actually pretty addicting. I love the story, and the characters, and the message, and I just derive so much life meaning from it! Because I’m a dork! But I love it! SO MUCH. I could just go on and on and on about the lessons it teaches and the inspiration it’s provided me. I mean, I feel so much better about the world after watching Naruto. I recommend it to people struggling with depression. Because it’s quite stimulating. Anyway, I’m sure no one wants to read about that (not that my normal topics are any more enthralling) so… HAH I fooled you, didn’t I? Nah, I’m going to talk about Naruto… while connecting with every day life… YES English class skills….

While I was meandering through my old posts, admiring my use of strange phrases, I came to a conclusion that I have changed a lot recently. And not just… in the ways that I usually talk about… or in the ways of being Christian… which I noticed that I said I was in the first post… Also it seems that I’ve become much less sure of myself… how sad. Anyway.

I don’t even remember what I was going to say when I started typing this.

Oh yeah! My outlook on life…. I have a lot of ranty posts about how bloodthirsty and terrible mankind is. But I’ve realized that recently, although I still hate the majority of people, don’t get me wrong, I’ve become a lot more hopeful. (Thank you Naruto). I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about Naruto… but… I’m just sayin’…

I used to post a lot about how everyone is losing their minds, how no one cares, etc etc. I think I’m probably the product of my family’s radical mindset… Most of my family would agree with my old posts. Which is where I got those ideas. And to think that I believed that I was thinking on my own…. Well, anyway, while we’re on that topic, can I just say…. I hate when my family tells me to think for myself, stop following the crowd, to be different. I like to believe that I’m exactly who I am inside (SAPPY) and that person is quite different from everyone else… So… they can just get out. I’m too strange for my own good… Don’t know what they’re talking about~

ANYWAY, the point I’ve been trying to get to is that my outlook on life has changed a lot from back then… and… I like it. 8) I don’t think there’s such a thing as a good person, but there’s also no such thing as a bad person… As human beings we all have flaws, and we just have to find someone who can accept our flaws for what they are. :3 I’m so cliché. Thank you, Naruto. Anyway, now I digress. Again.

Let’s talk about FEELINGS.

Dear diary,

I still feel so lost. Where am I? What am I doing here? And while we’re on that topic, WHO am I? What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to be? Who do I want to be? What do I want?

I’ve decided to start a quest for the meaning of life. My idea is that… I’ll come up with some of my reasons for living… and poll some other people… and then compile a list of things to accomplish before I die. Although the religion-oriented ones will prove to be a challenge, I’m sure…. Anyway, here are some reasons that I predicted I would get:

Religion, happiness, love, success.

I can’t tell you what my reasons are because I’m completely unsure. But here are some answers that I’ve actually gotten:

“To find the meaning of life” (heh, clever), “To survive”, “I don’t know”, “Cheese cake”, “To improve it for others”, “God”.

So I open the poll to you… I know better than to actually create a poll, because no one reads the blog, so of course no one is going to vote in the poll… but you know what? Too bad… here’s my question:

“What’s the meaning of life?”

Thanks for reading!

Megan

P.S. I’ve been slacking with my index card idea, because I’m not sure where to leave them…. I’ve mentioned I have no life right? I don’t really go anywhere…. But I’m working on it.

P.P.S. I forgot to mention the Rocky Horror Picture Show! But I don’t want to mess up the nice flow up yonder^ So I’ll just briefly summarize down here…. It was awesome. It’s such a cult thing… throwing things at eachother… screaming things at the screen…but it’s so fun! And I love drag queens. :3 Okay I’m done!

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system… I’m trying to clean my house before school starts up again, but the extreme heat due to lack of working air conditioner paired with my above mentioned laziness makes it seem nearly impossible. I also have to read a book, Frankenstein, by the 30th, and I haven’t bought it yet. Haven’t even thought of it. I’ve been sleeping until noon on good days, so waking up early is going to be a big shock. But it always is. I would sell my soul to the devil if I never had to wake up before eleven. Well… maybe that’s a little drastic…

This blog is so damn boring. But so am I, so I guess it makes sense. Honestly I have no idea why I write the things that I do. Who wants to know about my.. whatever I usually write about. I don’t know what to call it. Actually I’ve kind of been in rut when it comes to original thoughts. All of my recent statuses have been song quotes. That’s how unoriginal I’ve become. I had to use Microsoft Word’s synonym finder in order to make it seem like my essay wasn’t written by a 7-year-old. Although that might be less of an originality problem and more of a vocabulary problem.

I like Alton Brown…

If you were a cannibal, hypothetically of course, would you rather eat men or women? It doesn’t sound like a very vegan question, but I would never really eat a human, and it’s a fun question to ask. Of course I’m used to the “what the hell?” look. I think I would eat children because they would be more tender, like veal. But if I had to choose between men and women I think I would go for women, again for the “more tender” argument. Plus I feel like women would take better care of themselves and thus be healthier? I dunno. Doesn’t that sounds sadistic though? I would eat children? I mean I would never actually eat children. But it makes the best argument. I don’t even eat cows, so relax, jeez.

Isn’t it awkward when you re-meet people that you used to know when you were a child but have absolutely no recollection of? Given, it wasn’t that long ago that I was a child, but I re-met my uncle’s friend yesterday, whom I used to play Trouble with every friday night (awesome way to spend your friday nights, huh?). Anyway it was just awkward, because he already knew me and yet I had no idea who he was. So I just kind of stood there and smiled (because I’m awkward and somewhat antisocial, so that’s my way of trying to be friendly. Stand awkwardly in the corner and smile. Not creepy, but like a faux “oh this is such a stimulating conversation” smile.) And then when he went to leave, he hugged my uncle, and hugged my grandmother, and then went in for a hug from me. Well I guess I like cringed or something, ahahah, so he stopped half way and stuck out his hand. Which was so damn awkward that I wish I had just endured the hug. And I can never shake hands with someone non-awkwardly, because it’s so formal and Megan is an antonym for formal, so he just like squeezed my hand instead. Like I try to shake hands, it’s not like my hand is just limp or whatever, but it just never works. So yeah, that was my story of the day. It’s probably more satisfying to picture in your mind, so if you haven’t already done that… 

A Sweeny Todd song just came on. Which reminds me that I’m so damn excited to go Halloween caroling. I don’t know if I’ve told you this yet, but when I was younger I had a song to remember how to spell Halloween. H-a-double-l-o-double-u-e-e-n. I used to think it was Hallouueen but that’s besides the point. And I used to be so proud that I could spell Mississippi. Ahhh, those were the good old days.

All righty, I think that was enough pointless rambling. I just re-read and I feel like I need to apologize. Mostly for the cannibalism bit. Even though I would never really eat a human.. or a cow.. I’m sorry if anyone took offense. But I’m still not deleting it. So thanks for reading,

Megan

So I was randomly inspired tonight, and decided that I’m going to start a tell-her-she’s-beautiful-esque project. Translation: I’m going to write things on index cards and leave them places. Just my luck, I’ll probably get arrested for littering or some shit. But whatever. Take a look:

The missions vary from “call an old friend” to “stop worrying,” but they’re all the same otherwise. Hopefully people won’t just throw them away, seeing as they’re taking a while to write out! Anyway I just wanted to share because…I don’t know why. It was just something to write about, so I wrote. I’ll keep you posted with it if it proves to be interesting.

On an unrelated note, I DIDN’T FAIL MY FINALS. Megan be happy.

Thanks for reading,

Me

P.S. here’s my inspiration- http://foundmagazine.com/

I’m going to post a story about my circus-protesting adventure on my vegan blog. I’m just making note of that here so that I don’t get lazy and decide to not do it.

Why is there a school bus outside my house? I played, along with the orchestra, at graduation yesterday night. I was dreading it but it actually turned out to be pretty cool. I’m glad not to be a freshman anymore. SO glad. I’m going to babysit this summer… maybe volunteer at an animal shelter. But the Humane Society believes that you have to be 18 to care about animals and have a brain, so I’m not sure what other shelter I’ll be able to find.

All right, I’m just going to go through my old list of stuff and see what I haven’t mentioned yet. Let’s see… Okay I’ll talk about the end of the world… OCDness? I’m not even sure what I was referring to there… I think I’ll mention some more about House’s sayings… Have I talked about weird fashion trends yet? haha, the Snuggie. Okay, I’ll cover that…

December 20th, 2012. Doomsday. Have you seen the movie 2012? All my friends thought it was good, but it couldn’t fool me. I was REALLY excited for it because I love doomsday movies, but it was LAME. It was pretty much The Day After Tomorrow with a worse ending. It even had the same “man-almost-drowns-but-comes-up-after-a-few-seconds-of-suspense.” Lame, lame, lame. But I don’t want to talk about the movie. I used to believe hardcore in the world ending on 12/20/12, which I may have mentioned before. Actually, yes, I have definitely mentioned this before. So the only new thing I want to add is that I hope it does end in 2012. I was just going to leave it at that without elaborating, to add DRAMATIC EFFECT, but meh, I’ll elaborate. The world is fucked up, society is horrible, and I’m probably going to become an alcoholic bum anyway because I completely lack any work ethic and/or drive to do something with my life. Plus, it’s a lot less scary to think about death if you know that the world isn’t going to just keep going without you. Okay, moving on.

Two of House’s saying that are ALWAYS repeated are: 1. Everybody lies. and 2. People never change. I’ve decided that I agree completely with the first and disagree completely with the second. I mean, the latter. It’s hard to argue the fact that everyone lies. It’s become part of society, the politically correct thing to do. Even if a lot of lies are told with good intent, they’re still lies. However, I think House is mistaken when he says that people never change. I know for a fact that I personally change a lot. I can feel it. I don’t mean physical change either, I mean the things I care about change. The way I think changes. I’m sure about this because sometimes I wish I could go back to how I was when I was younger and care-free. People definitely change.

Last but not least! Actually I have a faint recollection of covering this as well… My memory is shit. Which reminds me of something else I could talk about! When I wake up early, or probably when I’m coming out of REM sleep, ya know, I’m always REALLY delirious. Sometimes I try to negotiate with my alarm clock. Sometimes I wake up at 3am and think that it’s time to go to school. Sometimes I forget how to tell time. I’m totally not exaggerating. Okay, back to the snuggie. I got a leopard-print snuggie for Christmas (which makes me think I DID talk about it. I should probably check. But meh, didn’t I mention lack of work ethic and drive? yeah.) Anyway, so I got a snuggie and a light saber for Christmas so that my friends and I could pretend to be Jedi. But we never really did. But it was still a fun idea. I also got a microwave egg cooker because my family is rather red-neck.

Yee-haw, that was pretty long. Thanks for reading,

Megan

P.S. I’m bad at spelling.

Stupid fad.. I hate fads…

This post could be titled “Things I hate about being a teenager.” Next episode: dealing with other teenagers. Meh.

Megan

P.S. Does anyone know where I’m supposed to embed a Flash Panel? Like an advertisement type thing. Hmmm.. I’ll try it here. Okay that was a fail. So….anyone?

P.P.S. http://zazzle.com/aac_designs BUY STUFF. (profits contributed to benefit animal rights!)

A beautiful day for a neighbor…

Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

Whenever I start to write, Mr. Rogers pops into my head, and I just go with it.

HOPPY Easter everyone.

Today is an extra special day,

because this marks the blog’s first birthday!

Actually it might have been yesterday. Actually… well I don’t really know, but it was around easter. So I might be a few days off but TOO BAD.

Go eat some vegan cake in celebration.

Megan